the good days...

Having just transferred the photos from my camera and my phone, I suddenly realise I have loads of things I meant to blog about! The time just seems to be scooting by and I feel I barely have time to draw breath at the moment.

So this is a bit of a 'mixed bag' post I'm afraid - I have had busy days and relaxing days and there is a bit of each in here, plus a nod to the relentless surge towards 'you know what' day...

A couple of weeks ago, I hopped on a train to Cambridge to meet my sister who lives in the Midlands. Sort of half way house for us both. It was such a beautiful sunny day (feels like it might have been the last one we had!!) and as I walked in from the station I was looking forward to just spending a bit of time together.

Cambridge is full of such beautiful buildings...

...and bicycles are an integral part of the surroundings...

We talked a lot, walked, shopped a bit, talked some more, walked some more...

We stopped for coffee, lunch and tea (well, you have to don't you...!), listened to the earnest, clever undergraduates that wander along having intense conversations and got snapped by an art student who wanted to take photos for her coursework! (We were 'papped', dahling!!) We laughed a lot and hugged a bit and I was reminded again of just how much I love my big sister. She has been there for me consistently and without judgement and knows me better than anyone else. All in all a Good Day...

As was the next day... I had set myself a bit of a challenge to do all the normal stuff that I do for Christmas, even though this year I think it is going to be anything but 'normal', whatever that is now. I have always made mincemeat, christmas puddings and christmas cake - partly because I just always have (as did my mum, never have been able to get a taste for shop bought mincemeat) and partly because my eldest son has Coeliacs disease and has to have gluten free. Although there's a lot more around now than there was when he was diagnosed 21 years ago, we always had a bit of a policy of him not being the odd one out in his own home so I made GF for all of us.

So I filled the house with Christmassy smells... apples, cider, orange and lemon zest, cinnamon...

...soft brown sugar, raisins, sultanas, currants, almonds, cherries, mixed peel, ginger, mixed spice and grated nutmeg...

This is a suet free recipe - I have really struggled to get suet that is GF for the last couple of years but actually, am no longer convinced you really need mincemeat swimming in fat. This all gets brought to the boil and believe me, at this stage smelt divine!

I tend to do this a bit by guesswork and was a bit worried that it was a bit 'liquidy' but left to its own devices off the heat for a while, it just absorbed all that yummy spicy juice to plump up the fruit...

It just got a good slosh of brandy before potting up - why is there always just a bit over that doesn't make a full jar?!

Christmas cake and puddings next. Didn't take photos of everything but the boys humoured me by stirring the pudding mix and by the time the cake was baked and the puddings steamed I was actually beginning to feel a bit festive!

I'd had a bit of a 'need to get out of Norfolk' moment - actually, to be fair, its not really the county, more that I have days when I can't bear the thought of being cooped up in my house with no prospect of speaking to anyone unless I do an impromptu trip to the corner shop to check my voice works... (or I start talking to the radio...!). Anyway, on the spur of the moment I arranged to meet a friend in London for the day. What I hadn't realised was that she decided to treat me to lunch in Covent Garden (look at these for baubles!!!)...

...followed by the matinee of Mamma Mia (fab! and yes, I do still know all the words to all the Abba songs!) and then dinner in the evening with another friend who happened to be in London too and joined us. These are the people whose friendship I value hugely and are soooo good at thoughtful pick-me-ups. It was a lovely day and even the train journey back was OK. I had time to pick up a coffee and a couple of magazines at the station so spent a pleasant hour or so flicking through looking for inspiration...

I can't say I have been enjoying this autumn with its inevitable slide towards winter - it has just felt cold and dark, and a bit miserable. I think I have struggled to get out and even when I have, I've not felt much like taking photos. But this little bit of blue sky and the last few autumn leaves did catch my eye...

And finally... a bit of crafty stuff. I wouldn't say I've exactly got the bug again, but 'necessity is the mother of invention' as they say and I'm on a bit of a creative present haul right now...

These are the gloves I made with my Mum in mind...

However, in spite of me doing a tension square (I never normally bother!!) this pattern knitted up on the big side. I don't have particularly big hands but they are definitely bigger than Mum's and they were huge on me...

Don't ask me why I carried on and made both gloves...not one of my brighter moves... And after much deliberating, I decided I couldn't possibly give these as a gift, so rather than waste the lovely Rowan (bargain bin!) yarn, I pulled them out again and have started again with a different pattern...

Can you see that rather delicious stripy yarn in the background of this photo? This is a bamboo/wool mix and is gorgeously soft (although not much stretch I've since discovered) - bargain bin again (I am a regular rummager just lately...!) and intended for something for a friends little girl whose birthday is Boxing Day. But about at this point I realised they were just shouting 'Socks!!!' at me! So I am having a badly timed self indulgent moment here and making myself some socks with it. These are not subtle, shy retiring socks, but I am loving them so far...

I've had the sewing machine out too... Bit of recycling of an old pair of jeans into something for my nephews 6th birthday...

He's got into cooking just lately so I got him some baking things (found some great smiley face silicone mixing spoons) and thought he could do with his own pinny, with elastic and velcro so he can get it on himself. 

Looking back at this, feels I have got more done this month than I thought! Some nice days out, some seasonal kitchen time, progress on presents...

On the down side, some pretty low days, lots of grey sky and rain, a complete inability to make any progress towards sorting out my home situation, huge amounts of stress at work... But I have deliberately not taken photos of the miserable stuff and even that bit of blue sky in these pics has cheered me up.

Just this I had to take...

I live in a terraced street and I came out to go to work last week to find this! I hadn't parked like that for sure! And when I looked at the back...

Some charming individual had hit my parked car, shunting it into the one in front! No sign of the culprit of course and no details left... So this has cost me £400 in insurance excess, lost no claims discount and I am currently car-less while it is sorted out, meaning my planned trip to see middle son in time for his birthday is off. Not happy.

Am trying to tell myself, its only a car and only money (!!!) but when I finally resolve the details of dividing our house/finances/etc etc and look for a more long term home, secure parking is up there on the list of must haves!!!

I am taking the view that these things are sent to try us and that life has a way of keeping going... So I will look at the pictures of blue skies and enjoy my bright stripy socks and not let it get to me. 

Til next time, then...

Sx

PS this has taken me forever to write because I have had such a job to get photos to load tonight. Has anyone else had this problem? I've ended up having to pay for extra Picasa storage but it still seems to be slow and a bit temperamental. Grr...

a reason for knitting...

Time for an update on what I've been up to on the crafty front...

Progress so far on the wretched knitted squares blanket...

Apologies for the lousy quality of the photo - I have given up waiting for decent light in my living room. I think thats a forlorn hope - the downside of a city centre Victorian terrace (can't imagine how dark these houses must have been when they were first built and electric light was something of a luxury!) so this is as good as it gets I'm afraid. I think I'm about two thirds of the way there with the squares but soooo bored with it!! And have you seen how many ends there are??? Each square is knitted with double DK yarn - which means I think it will have a bit of substance when I finally get it done but also means each one has at least 4 ends, plus some where I've had to join balls in the middle! Usually I am fairly strict with myself about sewing ends in as I go but I had this bright idea that I would use some of the longer ends to join the squares... Now I'm not so sure and debating about just joining all with one colour...

Anyway, for the moment this is back in the bag until I can face the 50 odd more squares and I am playing with nice things to give away at Christmas. This has a twofold purpose - 1) it gives me something to do of an evening (hence the slog at the wretched squares blanket! even that is better than twiddling thumbs on your own!) - I have always been completely rubbish at just sitting watching TV and can happily while away an evening with a bit of 'something on the go' (as my mum used to say!) and 2) feels like a start on the Christmas shopping list. I am, of necessity, having something of a lean Christmas this year and I hope that the recipients will like their bit of something handmade. 

This is the Holden Shawlette, pattern available on Ravelry, but I found it via Yarn Round Hook's blogpost...

I've got to confess that the yarn was more accident than design - the colour selection in the bargain bin at John Lewis was a little restrictive! But this was lovely soft Rowan Cashsoft and at £2.50 a ball (scarf took just two balls) felt like a good buy. And I was thinking neutral might be good for giving away??? Hope the recipient likes it - this one is going to my sister (who I'm pretty sure doesn't read my blog...!!!)

Its a dead easy pattern, knitted on a circular needle but backwards and forwards and only took a couple of evenings, even accounting for the final 309 stitch rows plus the picot edging which feels as though its going to take forever! I'd quite like to do another in a variegated yarn...think the colours would be interesting, but I'm a bit rubbish with even remotely 'scratchy' woolly stuff round my neck and haven't seen anything in yummy colours that pass the neck test yet! (does anyone else do this? I have to just cuddle a ball of wool against my neck for a minute to see if I could bear it! The Rowan yarn did by the way but the colour's not really for me...!)

So, now I'm on to some lacy gloves for my Mum from the other balls of Rowan cashsoft I found in a sort of sage green (my Mum's an 'autumn' - so I'm told - so these sort of earthy colours are just her thing). I haven't knitted gloves for years and am enjoying the process - fiddly fingers and all. My only slight worry is that they seem to be coming up a bit on the big side... they are roomy on me, and my Mum has tiny hands!! I can't quite decide whether to direct this gift elsewhere... only the yarn colour and pattern were particularly chosen with Mum in mind... or whether to just hope that they'll be ok... Well, I've done one glove now so am kind of committed, guess I'll just have to make a decision when they're finished!

I may just do a bit of public knitting today - I have a couple of days off so am getting the train to Cambridge to meet my sister for lunch. I can't tell you how good it is not to be going to work!! Have been feeling a bit burnt out just lately so hoping a break will make me feel a bit better about things.

I am challenging myself to take some photos today so expect a bit of a 'Cambridge day out' post sometime in the not too distant future!

And finally, thanks for your comments on my last post - I am having complete emotional swings these days and it not only helps me get things in perspective to put something in writing but the positive thoughts coming across the web are very affirming somehow...

So til next time, then...

Sxx

November musings...

At risk of sounding like my grandmother...where on earth has this year gone?

I have just been browsing through a few blogs and I realised I have been rubbish at keeping my thoughts and memories in print this year. It looks as though I did nothing at all in October and my ability to recall anything in any detail is so lousy that it will probably stay that way.

In fact I have been silly busy. I've been a bit buried in work - if I'm honest, there is probably an element of 'head in the sand' there. I have been there a long time, I know what I'm doing and I feel like I have something to contribute. And I have very good friends there. At home it's all still very unsettled and if I have too much time on my hands I have an annoying tendency to over-analyse and make myself feel a bit rubbish. So I find myself at work way more than I should be and more than ever I think I'm not doing a good job on the work-life balance thing. Life is never endingly complicated!

I am really struggling to feel good about the changing seasons. I go to work in the dark, I come home in the dark. Its been cold and wet and generally a bit grim. Yuk. 

I have days when I just don't want to get out of bed.

I have taken next to no photos and I think on most days I've forgotten to look at the little things.

But I have had some highlights...and I think I just need to give myself a little nudge to remember..

I've been to the theatre - Death on the Nile and The Marriage of Figaro, culturally miles apart but each great in their way. I was a closet Agatha Christie reader as a teenager and loved the play at the theatre. I'm a newbie to opera - this was only the second I've been to - but I'm loving the experience. At risk of sounding a complete philistine, I'm not sure operatic farce is quite my cup of tea - the music was beautiful but the story was just a bit silly...

I've seen some really good films at the cinema - all quite different but good in their own way. Untouchable made me laugh and cry, Beasts of the Southern Wild was moving and beautiful and Skyfall this evening was...well, Bond, of course.

I've done a bit of 'Gawd, must think about Christmas...' and begun to make a few pressies. Inspired by this post and having happened on some lovely soft Rowan Cashsoft (merino, cashmere and acrylic blend) in the bargain bucket at John Lewis, I made a shawl which I think I'll give to my sister. It only took a couple of evenings - if I ever get a chance and some decent daylight, I'll take some pics and post it. I have a few birthdays to cover with pre Christmas too and have some sewing ideas in mind for those. Just waiting for some holiday time to get on with them...

I've joined a gym. Bit of a bargain basement one but clean and has all the kit and I imagine one gym is pretty much like another. I don't think I will ever feel entirely comfortable with the whole communal sweating in lycra thing, but it does mean I can keep up my running through the winter ('cause I am way too much of a cold wimp to get up and run early in the dark and the rain...).

I've spent time with lovely people - some good friends who know just when is the right night to say "I can't face eating alone tonight, why don't you come over?" and my lovely sons who have given me more strength than I feel I should ever have expected from them. 

It is very strange to be 'with' one person for the best part of 30 years and then barely have any contact at all and whilst I know that this was a necessary step, the journey is difficult and painful. I feel enormous waves of guilt and sadness and I do miss aspects of that relationship hugely. You have so much shared history - we grew up together, or at least alongside each other, and there are things we know about each other that no-one else does. I hope one day, we will be able to look back and think we weren't unkind to each other and that we both have a better chance of being happy now. I think we are beginning to make baby steps towards unravelling our joint lives so that we can both be individuals. But its a bit of a roller coaster ride and some days are much tougher than others.

Overall, I have lots to be happy and grateful for and I just need to remember to tell myself that sometimes! I quite miss the photo scavenger hunt lists - I need a bit of a kick to motivate me sometimes, perhaps I should set myself a little visual challenge to kick me out of myself a bit... 

Anyway, enough, this wasn't meant to be morose - just a reflection on where I'm at. Life goes on and I have to believe things will sort themselves for the best in the end. Onwards and upwards and all that...

Sx