In the footsteps of pilgrims...

I've been captivated by the recent short series following the route of the Via Francigena pilgrimage. Not because of the 'celebs' that feature (didn't know who half of them were and wasn't overly interested whether they had any kind of spiritual epiphany!) but because of a combination of a fascination with Italy and the idea of centuries of people treading the same path. The televised group completed the Italian stretch of the pilgrimage, from the Swiss Alps down through Italy to Rome. I hadn't realised until I started looking at it that, in fact, the route stretches 1800km from Canterbury to Rome. Thats a 3 month trek. So whilst there is a bit of me that would love to take that sort of time and undertake the physical and mental challenge, in reality I can't imaging ever being able to do so. But I am tempted to have an aim in mind, at some point, to do the route in sections and complete the 3 week Italian stretch - particularly as I am learning Italian at the moment so maybe, just maybe, I might have got to grips with the basics of the language by then!

With the prospect of a 4 day bank holiday weekend on my own and the forecast of good weather, on a whim I decided to head for Kent and do the Canterbury to Dover bit. I lived in Kent for a couple of years as a small child but had very little memory of it and although I must have been to Canterbury couldn't remember it at all.

I headed down mid afternoon on Friday, having plucked a late booking off the internet for a room at the Rose and Crown, in a village called Elham about 8 miles out of Canterbury. Always feels a bit of a lottery booking accommodation online (I have had a mixed bag over the years!) so I wasn't expecting much really. So imagine my surprise when I was shown into this room...!

Lovely spacious room, decent sized en-suite and the best eggs Benedict I think I have ever had the next morning!

I woke early so got up and had a wander round the village before breakfast. Blue, blue skies and pretty streets with views across the Kent Downs made me wonder why I have never felt inclined to walk here before.

After my delicious breakfast, a short drive to Canterbury and this was my first view over the city, across Dane John Gardens towards the cathedral in the distance...

And at the Christchurch gate from the cathedral on Burgate the signpost to Rome...

Even at 10.30 in the morning the sun was very warm and it felt like a midsummer's day. But as I left the city boundaries the countryside was a reminder that it is still quite early in the year - bright, fresh greenery still opening on the trees and hedgerows, bluebells just beginning to open...

 

I'm not sure I completely followed the official Via Francigena route, rather stupidly I didn't take a map so I ended following roads for the most part. Some of them pretty little tree-lined lanes, others much less pretty A roads! 

The countryside was beautiful. Very 'English' somehow. Although not obvious in the photos, there is quite a bit of up and down, with undulating rolling hills stretching as far as the eye can see.

This was my spot for a rest and a bit of lunch, about halfway, 9 miles to go...

At one point I joined a stretch of the North Downs Way...

...and for a little while, picked up the official way marks again!

The last few miles into Dover were a bit tedious - my feet were hot and sore after 18 miles, much of it on tarmac - so it was a boost to see the castle appear...

...closely followed by water, coffee and spicy, cinnamon bread pudding!

It was a short train ride back to Canterbury, then a wander round the cathedral grounds in the early evening light...

My last minute booking for last night was less impressive - tiny room, no breakfast and nearly twice the price! But, to be honest, after walking 23 miles in total I was just ready for a bed!

This morning it was beautiful again and, although my feet were suffering a bit, I wanted to walk round the city, starting with the tranquility of the riverside walk through Westfield Gardens...

I wondered how old this amazing gnarled tree is...

Gorgeous spring flowers...

The cathedral spires are striking as you approach. This was from The Friars, in front of the Marlowe theatre...

There are a number of sculptures outside the theatre, including this rather forbidding mask...

There is a real sense of history about Canterbury. So many ancient buildings, many in the centre of the town now home to the usual medley of shops and cafes, others not much more than ruins with lovely open spaces around them. But I had a sense that there is another side to Canterbury too. So many of those open spaces are daubed with graffiti, even on these beautiful walls and all over the seats in Greyfriars Gardens, formerly the home of a 13th Century Franciscan friary. I know graffiti can be artistic in its own right but this felt destructive and disrespectful to the history of these spaces. 

Before heading back to Norfolk, I thought I'd drive through the countryside to the village I lived in years ago. I was a bit taken aback by the flood of memories - I recognised the road and the house we lived in instantly, although it all looked slightly smaller than I remembered (why does childhood memory do that?!). But the field at the end of the cut-de-sac looked just the same, I can remember getting scratched ankles in the stubble there. I remembered being stung on the sole of my foot by a wasp after it flew into my flip flop whilst I was on a space hopper! I remembered our cat having a litter of kittens in the garage. But oddly, I had absolutely no recollection of this view from the village hall and park...

Lots of time for reflection. Lovely to have some warm sunshine to accompany it.

S x

Middle of the night musing...

Time has a habit of racing by doesn't it. And then there are times when something makes you sit bolt upright and question the sanity of a life that races from one overpacked hour to the next.

I don't think I have worked out how to juggle the necessity of mortgage, bills, supporting family and doing the best for the people I care for at work. There is no space left to invest even a scrap of energy in anything else.

Yesterday morning I was looking out of this window before taking my mum to a routine screening test - admiring the early winter sunshine across her too big garden that she adores and is struggling (fiercely independently) to manage. I wandered round her house wondering how on earth we will ever persuade her to make this place easier for her to remain in at some point 'in the future' and glad that we don't have  to think about that yet. 

We watched the birds together, spotting goldfinches, chaffinches, every type of tit plus the usual blackbirds, pigeons and a cheeky robin. We tried to work out what (and when!) to get those for those last few people for Christmas and we even had a token dabble at thinking about sunny breaks next year. 

Then in the space of a few hours the routine had turned into something much more worrying. Suddenly my idle early morning musings come sharply into focus. We might need to think about major surgery, a long recovery... we might be looking at less time... 

So I have been awake most of the night - trying to keep my practical 'one step at a time' head on whilst my realistic head, with years in the NHS 'knowing too much', is churning away in the background. 

I have no idea what the next few weeks and months will bring. I know that my poor mum is going to have to go through a myriad of tests and treatments, and will resent hugely the intrusion of illness on her life. I know that I will need to help her, and the rest of my family, negotiate the system and understand the language of health care. I don't know how I am going to add this to the spinning plates without dropping at least one.

I hope that we will come out of the other side still thinking about a glass of something chilled in the sunshine...

Take time to breathe the stillness of a crisp winter morning today. Look closely at those you love and imprint them in your mind and your heart. The world is a very uncertain place.

S x

where is the year going???

I can't believe I haven't managed to write anything for over two months! And actually, when I look at my camera, I haven't stopped to capture anything either. This year seems to be flying past in a blur of 'weeks to be got through' - we have had health issues, house insurance issues, work issues... There seems so little time away from work that fitting everything else in to the time off seems to have left no time for stopping and appreciating... That isn't intended to be a whinge about it - it just is what it is. I have been back to yoga for the last few months and enjoying it enormously (though haven't even made it to all those classes!) - I feel a bit like it helps me rebalance and accept, or at least attempt not to make judgements about whether I'm coping with life or not. Some stuff I just can't control & I am trying to just let it be. (I can't say I always succeed but I'm trying!!)

Two weeks ago my youngest boy finally left home - he hasn't gone far, just the other side of the city to share with a friend. It has been another adaptation process - I am glad for him, he really needed to do some independent living and however much we tried, it was next to impossible for us to fully relinquish our traditional roles while he was living with me. And in a way, I'm glad for me too - I have a spare room now, and a space I can use for working (I am typing this at a desk & not on my lap in bed - such a novelty!!), the food stays in the fridge for longer, the washing  machine is on less often... But goodness, I have missed him too! Way more than I thought I would!! And I really have to face the reality that I am on my own. And not sure how or when that will ever change. Four years after my marriage fell apart and over a year since my divorce, I have not so much as looked at the prospect of another relationship - not even sure I know how any more. So, for now at least, I have to learn to  live with my own company, enjoy the space and enjoy the company of friends when I can. Maybe thats not so bad.

Yesterday, I finally managed the next stretch of my coastal walks, picking up where we left off at Overstrand and following the beach to Cromer.  Looking back towards Mundesley it seems really overcast in these pics but actually (for the first time in days!) it was warm and sunny - must have just clicked during a patch of cloud!

Beautiful smooth sand and gentle lapping waves at Overstrand...

This was decision-making moment... Having taken my Mum, the idea being a gentle stroll, then lunch, do we clamber over the groynes and keep walking or do we turn back at this point??

Bearing in mind Mum is in her 70s we probably should have gone with the latter...but she's fairly determined (can't think where I get that bloody-minded streak from?!!) so on we went, Cromer pier visible in the distance...

It was so warm, I couldn't resist dipping my toes in the sea. On reflection this is a rather odd photo - my feet look teeny (they are really not!)

As you get nearer to Cromer the top part of the beach becomes much more pebbly, quite big lumps of flint, worn smooth by the sea. Essential to find a lucky 'stone with a hole' (anyone else do this??!)

The sand was drying out and it was a bit harder going - about this point I realised I had underestimated the time Mum would need and we were probably going to overshoot the time I'd put on the car, whether we went on to Cromer or back to Overstrand! Plus it was really warm by now so we took a detour off the beach up the cliff...

Some welcome shade and lovely view back through the trees...

but boy, were there a lot of steps!!!

It's when you look back at how far you've come...

and then look up and realise the top isn't even in sight!!

By now, I'm also feeling extremely guilty that I didn't make an executive decision and head back to Overstrand before the groyne! I'm not sure Mum's knees and hips are up to this!! Eventually, the steps give way to a grassy slope beneath the lighthouse and on down into Cromer town...

I do love that you get a whole different perspective when you walk into a town; normally approaching by car I never get this view as I come at it from a completely different direction.  The beach and town were buzzing with families & holidaymakers and the sea was so clam and blue - little bit unusual for the North Sea which often looks a bit 'murky'!

Poor Mum was badly in need of a sit down by this stage so we plumped for the first cafe we saw - which was disappointingly short on food! A cup of tea and a cake later we decided to get a taxi back to Overstrand (no way, could I make her walk back again!!).

It was a lovely walk but something of an eye opener for me. Probably the first time I've really realised how much my Mum has slowed up. And that I probably have to give her less choice about what we do. I guess we all do it - the mind is willing and can powerfully convince you that you can still manage things you probably can't very readily. It also made me more determined than ever to keep active and maintain my fitness! Mum potters but doesn't do much for sustained periods and it really showed. If I am going to be on my own I am not going to settle for ambles along the promenade until I absolutely have to !!!

I think I'm about half way round the Norfolk coast now - I wonder if I'm actually going to manage to complete it this year!! Need to go more often than once every couple of months!!!

Next week maybe...

Sx

evening musings...

After an unexpected shift at work, I was a bit desperate to get out and enjoy the last couple of hours of sunshine yesterday. It feels as though this year is just flying past and already the trees and gardens are showing signs of approaching autumn. I have to confess to a slight degree of panic about this - something to do with the speed with which my life seems to race by and the fact that I so struggle with long winters and can't quite bear the thought of this lovely summer coming to an end.

Tom and I took the opportunity for a sneaky coffee in a little cafe courtyard...

Just occasionally I wish I liked milky coffee! His looked lovely but actually my black coffee tasted fab and I know I hate the taste with milk!

This is a pretty courtyard with timber framed buildings, though it looks as though at some time years ago another floor was added so it has a rather strange 3rd layer that looks much more modern.

After coffee, he went off for a night out with friends and I wandered. I love my little house and for the most part I am ok with my own company, but just sometimes I can't bear the thought of going back to the emptiness. Silence is a mixed blessing and I have completely conflicting feelings about being on my own - the freedom and independence is undeniably liberating; I can do what I want, eat what I want, when I want... But deep down I think we are social beings and I guess we all need or would like the companionship of someone kind to share life experiences with. And there are always days when your kids or your friends are busy with their own lives and families and it is these times when the reality hits you in the face a bit, that actually, this may be how its going to be, always. And then I wonder where I went wrong...

Anyway, with these slightly maudlin thoughts in mind, I just walked, first round the shops and made a few unnecessary purchases (gawd help me, I even bought a Christmas present! This has to be a record for me!) then kept walking until I got to the cathedral grounds where there was a spot to sit in the early evening sun...

The cathedral close is really beautiful. It is the site of the Norwich School - a public school which undoubtedly provides for a privileged sector, but what a fabulous setting for school rooms. The seagull in the photo was doing its best to wreck the scene by systematically emptying the rubbish onto the grass!

I rather love this sculpture, lit by the evening sun which was throwing long shadows by this stage...

The cathedral is a beautiful building and I think the kids that go to school here are very lucky to be educated in such great surroundings. 

I'm not sure I completely banished my low mood (just me that notices all the couples strolling along hand in hand??!!) but it shortened the long evening at home considerably!

Today's another day, and I'm giving myself a kick - really have nothing to complain about on the grand scale of things! Best go and make something of the day!

S x