Gardening - paradise or purgatory...

Today has been something of a challenge.

I have this week off work and a list of things as long as your arm to catch up with, not least being facing the reality of the fact that we have to decide what we are going to do with our home of the past 20 years. 

I don't want to go into the details on here - suffice to say that almost 18 months ago I moved out of my family home into the little terraced house I've been renting ever since. That was an enormous wrench for all sorts of reasons and going back there has been difficult and infrequent to say the least. Each time I have had reason to go there its like walking back into a different bit of my life, only I don't quite belong there anymore. I feel simultaneously completely familiar and at home with every nook and cranny and absolutely like a stranger trespassing on someone else's turf. Its disquieting and uncomfortable to say the least and invariably turns me into a blubbering wreck for a while. Not something I'm good with - I'm the sort of person that copes with things by compartmentalising and 'doing' and I just don't know how to deal with some of the feelings that get thrown up.

Anyway, at some point, in the not too distant future we have to put the house on the market and move on with our lives. So, I/we have to start preparing for that... Unfortunately, pretty much nothing has been kept 'on top of' for the last 18 months - so today, with the sun trying to put a brave face on, I set off to try to tidy the garden up. Oh my word. How quickly does everything disappear under a mass of weeds? 

I started the day with a cup of tea in my tiny patch at the rented house...

This feels like a peaceful treat and I am really loving the daffs that have finally burst into flower and smell amazing. They went up and up while the weather was so grim so their tiny heads are nodding on such very long stalks! The blue hyacinths are doing well too, albeit rather late in the day - this bowl was planted with three white hyacinths which were all meant flower indoors. The white ones did exactly what they were supposed to - the blue ones? Nothing! I assumed they were duds and stuck the bowl outside, then lo and behold...!

The flowers almost look as though they are made of wax and this morning there were little drops of morning dew...

Its such a pleasure to see a bit of colour in the gardens again - everything has been so late but suddenly, within a week, the trees have leaves and the flower beds are painted with bright splashes...

The daffodils looked almost translucent with the sun shining on them...

Bold pansies seem to shout for attention...

I think this one is the most gorgeous colour...

Gardening stuff gathered (wasn't sure if I'd still be able to get in the shed at our/my/his house - never know what to call it now) I drove the 15 miles across there fully expecting it to be a bit of a challenge. But, boy, was that an understatement...

Everything is so overgrown, with weeds and the last couple of years dead growth choking all the plants. Only the fittest and strongest have survived as far as I can see and it felt a bit of a mammoth task. I tackled the bed in the front garden first...

And after about 2 hours or so of cutting back, digging and hoeing had regained a degree of order, allbeit with an awful lot of bare ground where things were swamped by weeds...

Then round to the back garden, slightly with heart in mouth... 

It all just looks so sad and neglected. Even the patio pots and troughs are all empty and falling apart...

When we moved to this house 20 years ago, there was nothing but a concrete path, a couple of tree stumps and a few daffodils in the garden. We put hours of work and a lot of love into making it a place that was nice to be in. My sons grew up here and that piece of grass has seen babies playing on it, pirate parties, first tentative goes without stabilisers on bikes, crowds of German exchange students partying with their 'hosts' and tents full of teenagers. We have had more family meals than I can count out on a big picnic table, endless barbecues - not always in the best weather! - and Easter Egg hunts, when you never quite managed to find every single egg. It is a big garden and it has always taken a fair bit of work - you can never just leave a garden to get on with it can you - but we used to pretty much keep on top of it and it always looked nice, especially in the Spring. 

This is what it looked like 2 years ago - for some reason, I can't make this picture bigger without it going all pixillated - I guess not masses of colour mid-April 2011 from a distance, but up close there were aquilegias and tulips, daffodils and bluebells, and all of the borders just about to burst into early summer glorious showing off.

Now...

Just a handful of tulips trying to survive through the nettles and dandelions. Some things have gone mad, others have just disappeared. It just made me feel very sad. Sad that we got to this position, sad that we have not been able to help each other out over the last 18 months after almost 30 years together and sad that we have to do so much work now, just to get this place ready to sell. Which I'm sure will be a wrench again. At the moment, I just can't think how on earth I'm going to manage to spend enough time there (when no-one's home, I'm not very welcome there generally) to get the house and garden looking nice again. It all feels a bit overwhelming.

I spent about 6 hours there today and just made a dent on the back garden. Central flower bed weeded, pruned and mulched...

Just the long bed on the right and (oh god!) the grass to go, oh and the patio...

There were odd bright patches though - this hardy little plant was vying for space bravely with the nettles...

Oh well, in the grand scheme of things, it is only a 'space' and its time to move on to a different space now. The memories and happy times will live in my head and my heart and the less than happy times will fade, I know. I'm sure it will all be ok eventually.

Fingers crossed for another dry day this week so I can get out there and tackle the 'big bed'!

Sx 

Done!!!

Finally... I have finished the knitted squares blanket!

Last weekend, we had enough warmth in the sunshine to sit outside and enjoy the daffodils that have finally opened...

...whilst indulging in a bit of al fresco crochet edging...

This pattern has rather eaten up the wool. What started as a plan to use up leftover double knitting has resulted in several unscheduled 'top-ups' of supplies. Consequently, I still have a wool bag that seems as full of half finished balls as ever! The squares were knitted with the yarn doubled, which seems to have given them a bit more substance and has certainly made the finished article quite a thick chunky- feel blanket.

I decided to keep to the two strands of yarn for the edging and went for a fairly wide border - partly because I'd skimped a bit on the squares (out of sheer boredom) and partly because it seemed to need it.

As ever, the colours in my dingy little terrace look decidedly odd - even on a bright day there is very little natural light in here - but I think you get a feel for what a thick blanket this is.

I went for a bit of a mixed bag for the border - a couple of rows of double crochet clusters, followed by a couple of rows of treble clusters, then the remainder worked into the back loops of every stitch - trebles in navy (honestly its not black, just navy!), doubles in pale pink and blue, then a final round of picot edging.

I like this simple edging - not too fussy but just enough to act as a 'full stop' if you know what I mean! So, the finished product...

Its about the size of a single bed so not big enough to cover the double bed, but certainly big enought o keep feet warm!

I think I quite like it after all, but definitely not my favourite and I'm certainly not going to make another!! And timing- wise?? Thick cosy blanket completed just as the weather finally takes a turn for the better and we see a few blue skies...

Never mind, its so lovely to see some sunshine and blankets can be stored for the inevitable return of chilly nights. For now, I'm hoping for more days of blue skies and spring warmth. 

Sx

Could it be Spring? Shhh....

Amazing how a bit of sunshine lifts your mood. Today has been really glorious and I can't tell you how much brighter it made me feel. Odd isn't it, I wouldn't have necessarily said I'd been feeling a bit low, fed up with winter, for sure, but this weekend I've suddenly felt much more motivated and got loads more done.

Its been getting there over the last week. We've had some nice bright days and less wet and grey but so cold still! Last weekend, I joined a friend and some of her 'fitness' pals for a walk. They are planning a trip to do the Yorkshire 3 peaks at the end of May and this was the first 'training' walk. I'm not sure a meander round Norfolk's country lanes is quite the Yorkshire hills equivalent but we walked about 10 miles so it was a reasonable distance.

It was pretty chilly, but lovely if you kept moving. The sunshine was trying through trees that still look incredibly wintery.

Norfolk has lots of pretty little churches and this one was tucked away...

No leaves on the trees, but proper blue sky!

The trouble is, when you stop to take photos...

Actually, we all did a bit of fiddling about and stopping and starting, which was quite nice as it meant there was a chance to talk to different people, most of whom I'd never met before.

The walk took us through what was aptly described as 'a rather scruffy farmyard'...

Past some gorgeous calves...

Sadly, I suspect these are not destined for particularly long lives as the sign on the gate the other side of the shed announced itself as a 'prime meat' farm... I don't eat a lot of meat, but I'm not vegetarian either, so I have to accept that what ends up on the plate comes from somewhere, but the proximity of the information was a bit close for comfort for me!!

We walked through a tiny village with lovely houses and gardens, one of which had a pond and these...

I'm not sure I've ever seen black swans before. They were a bit smaller than the usual white ones and made a quite different noise. Very striking birds.

Believe it or not, given this was the end of the first week in April, this was the first proper full on lot of daffodils I'd seen too...

There have been a few odd ones here and there but mostly they've been really slow to open. But there was definitely some evidence that we might be reaching the end of this very long winter...

At last! Green shoots!! 

And lambs!

These were very cute, but difficult to photograph as they kept running around!

It has to be said that in spite of the blue sky in these pictures it was still cold if you stood still for too long and the evenings and nights have been freezing. Literally. I have still been scraping ice off my windscreen most mornings. 

So although I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it, I have been quite glad of the blanket that I feel I've been working on forever (albeit a bit sporadically at times). Its big enough and thick enough now to keep the legs warm as you work - my evenings sorted then!

This was the 'trying to get the colour distribution right' session...

I'm still not entirely sure I did, partly because I'm not mad about all the colours. Quite a few were ones I just had odds and sods of wool left over as this was supposed to be a 'use up' project. Ha ha, famous last words! The bottom right is a bit of a red herring. I was thinking of doing a row of crochet round the edge of each one; I thought it would even the squares up and make them easier to sew together and I also thought it would add a bit to the size. This was meant to be 144 squares but by this stage I was soooo bored with the squares so stopped at 108... But after I had edged one row of 9, I decided I didn't much like it and pulled it all out again!

I have joined them all together now, using the crochet method as I think it gives a strong join and I did enjoy looking at it hung on the line today...

I do still have a few issues with this 'affectionately' named Wretched Knitted Squares Blanket - the mish mash of colours being one and the fact that the patterns meant that the squares all came out slightly different sizes which made it a nightmare to join! But hung up here, it is sort of growing on me...

The other thing I'm not keen on is that, unlike crochet, there is a very obvious right and wrong side. I don't mind the contrasting joining stitches showing but it does look a bit messy from the back...

I suppose it won't matter when its in use. So just the border to go now!

It was lovely to sit outside with a cup of tea and a piece of fresh brioche this morning...

I've never made this before but thought I'd give it a go. It was a bit messy (loads of melted butter in it!) and it has to prove for a very long time (I left it overnight) but it wasn't difficult. I didn't have the right size or shape of tin, hence the odd shaped loaf! But it was delicious; though I say it myself, it was way nicer than the stuff you buy in the shops.

I even dared baring my legs to the world (well the back garden!) today, lovely to feel the warmth of the sun.

Lets hope the frosty mornings are over and we'll get some more of this cheerful weather!

Sx