Reflections and moving forward...

I am left with a strange sense of not knowing how to remember 2019. There were trips to Edinburgh, Harrogate, Canterbury, London and Bristol - each with special moments with friends and family. Walks on sunny days and crisp cold days. Gardens and galleries. A homecoming, an engagement and a graduation.

And the loss of the family anchor, whose quiet strength was much more the glue to our family than any of us realised, my dear Mum...

She is missed every day. And I have to remind myself she is with us every day too. I see her in the mirror, I hear her in my voice; she is in my rituals - my knitting and my baking, even the household chores. You don't realise how much of a 'way of doing' you absorb without even realising. The void has been huge over the last week - she was a keeper of Christmas traditions and the focus of family gatherings. Some I continue because it feels wrong not to, others I can't manage without her. Or at least, not yet.

And as this new year starts, with 5 months gone by, I know she would want me to find positives. So today, much like last year, I walked. And found blue skies and early snowdrops. 

Redefining life with familiarity, step by step.

S