sculptures in the park...

Got taken out today for a slow walk in the sunshine. Love the sculpture trail against the winter planting and light.

It was cold though! And we were ready for a warm up in the cafe afterwards!

S x
 

playing with patterns...

Too much time on my hands! Or maybe I should just see it as an opportunity. Relatively stuck - unable to drive and limited to short walks if it looks dry enough to brave with the crutches - has given me endless scrolling time! There are so many crochet patterns out there! So given I have lots of bits of sock wool to play with, thought I'd do a few little squares in different patterns and see what I like. Still not decided what I'll do with them yet! Maybe a sample blanket or cushion - depends how many I get out of the bits I suppose and what they look like together in the end.

So far...

...moss stitch, a kind of compromised shell stitch made into a square, a two row pattern I found (no idea if it has a name), a kind of bubble stitch, a sc/htr alternate pattern, and a crochet mitred square. Of course they are all a bit of the skew and I haven't sewn ends in yet but I'm having fun playing!

Only then I got side tracked, because I really like the feel (and ease to be honest, loving a bit of mindless crochet at the moment!) of moss stitch, so tried combining one of the sock yarns with a left over sport weight in cream...

Oh I liked this - I did it on a size 5 hook so it made up into quite a dense fabric - for a blanket I think I'd go up a hook size to give a better drape but I think this might be heading for a cushion cover. Only, as always when I try to use up my stash, now I need some more cream to make a back for it!! Unless I can think of a way of combining other leftovers.

And similarly...

I thought I had another half ball of the jade but no! So now I have half a cushion cover, destined for my bedroom which is heading for a remake with this colour as accent colour, waiting for me to decide what to do for a back. Maybe I'll raid the charity shops for a sweater to repurpose or some unwanted yarn from elsewhere - I am determined not to buy new!

I finished my latest pair of socks...

These pics show the colour better as there was a bit more decent natural light. Usually I bother to unwind the yarn to make sure the socks properly match but I just couldn't be bothered this time so I have slightly random stripes! I don't care so figured what does it matter - if I was giving them to someone else I'd have made the effort.

And in between all the hooky stuff, it has finally been bright enough and dry enough to swap my endless laps of the living room for a short, slow very cold walk round the park at the end of my road. So lovely to feel a little winter sunshine and see some blue sky.

S x

winter walks...

 I confess to having rather had to force myself put in the cold wind yesterday but, wrapped up well, I set off...I am trying not to drive when I don't really need to so I just walked from home and 9 miles later, cobwebs blown away and significantly warmer, I was glad I'd made the effort.

Picking my way through the leaves, softened by weeks of wintry weather...

Early snowdrop spotting...

Realising that the OS map I've probably had since the '90s may no longer be up to date as I find the footpath rerouted via a laminated 'follow the white posts' sign (past two enormous bulls!!)

Appreciating that even in our flat county, the fields undulate away from you gently as the sun tries to shine just a little...

Back in more woodland, pleasingly called Hundred Acre plantation (fans of Winnie the Pooh will understand me keeping a half eye for Piglet and Eyore...), this time zig-zagging across to avoid the worst of the mud...

More open fields and beautiful cloudy, if a bit grey, skies...

Then back home to a cup of tea and a few rows, enjoying the fact that this is 'blankety' enough now to snuggle under whilst I hook away...

I am not a winter person and can't wait for the days to lengthen a bit more and be brighter and warmer. But the older I get, the more conscious I am that these days of whatever colour and temperature are increasingly numbered, so making the effort to get out and enjoy is more important than ever.

sand slipping through your fingers...

I started this blog back in January 2011. At that point, almost exactly 12 years ago, I hadn't quite acknowledged that life was slowly unravelling but I felt that if I tried to 'notice' life, instead of just getting through each day, I would appreciate the positives and that would make things feel better.

Over a decade later, I am still trying to figure it out. In that time divorce, 3 house moves, the marriage of two sons, the death of my Mum, the birth of a grandson and unexpected surgery have been the stuff of life.  I have been living alone for over 10 years and have come to the conclusion, at least for now, that loneliness is the most challenging thing to deal with. It was loneliness within my marriage that finally drove me to seek a new path and I am certain that was the right thing to do. I think even my ex would agree - he is happier, remarried now and living the life he wants, and I no longer feel that I am walking on eggshells all the time. But if you had asked me if I had anticipated spending so many evenings and weekends alone for the rest of my days, I think the answer would have been no! Of course, we fill life with family, work, 'stuff'... but I do frequently feel that life and opportunities are slipping away from me and, looking back at my first few posts, the feelings that were behind those attempts to find happiness in the everyday remain.

Looking back to the resolutions I made in the New Year of 2011, some things haven't changed - I still love climbing to the tops of mountains, walking on windswept beaches, sunshine on my skin and flowers. I am not much closer to sorting the work/life balance! But I am probably fitter than I was then, I did finish my masters and progress my career and I have completed dozens of crochet and other projects. 

I still have umpteen more 'on the go' projects too! The latest being an attempt to make something without buying more yarn...😂

So...this year, no resolutions but I need to start reminding myself of the positives again. Not sure how yet - maybe I'll start posting a bit more regularly again - if only to document the good things and achievements, to give the walks and projects some purpose. And, maybe, in 10 years I will reflect and think I've come a long way towards a happier place.

I started the year with beautiful flowers from a friend who lives the other end of the country and I miss so much.

With blue skies and long shadows in winter sunshine...

With late afternoon and early morning walks...

So...still here, reminding myself I am lucky and the world is beautiful.

Reflections and moving forward...

I am left with a strange sense of not knowing how to remember 2019. There were trips to Edinburgh, Harrogate, Canterbury, London and Bristol - each with special moments with friends and family. Walks on sunny days and crisp cold days. Gardens and galleries. A homecoming, an engagement and a graduation.

And the loss of the family anchor, whose quiet strength was much more the glue to our family than any of us realised, my dear Mum...

She is missed every day. And I have to remind myself she is with us every day too. I see her in the mirror, I hear her in my voice; she is in my rituals - my knitting and my baking, even the household chores. You don't realise how much of a 'way of doing' you absorb without even realising. The void has been huge over the last week - she was a keeper of Christmas traditions and the focus of family gatherings. Some I continue because it feels wrong not to, others I can't manage without her. Or at least, not yet.

And as this new year starts, with 5 months gone by, I know she would want me to find positives. So today, much like last year, I walked. And found blue skies and early snowdrops. 

Redefining life with familiarity, step by step.

S

New beginnings...

Some simple pleasures to round off 2018 and ease into 2019...

Bristol cathedral's rather lovely nativity... a place to spend a few moments quietly contemplating.

A bracing Boxing Day walk through woods and by the spectacular Clifton suspension bridge...

Winter sunlight on ferns...

 A moment to sit and think...

A bit of time to finish hooking my scrap busting blanket, which turned out to be a very satisfying project, not least because I didn't spend a penny on it and I have cleared about 1/3 of my unused yarn stash!

A bright start to the New Year was perfect for a walk to shake off cobwebs. Looking back on the pictures I took I am struck by what a focal point the Anglican cathedral in Norwich is. From the riverside path...

From the viewpoint at Mousehold Heath...

Through the trees at Kett's Heights, another new discovery for me, just 30 minutes or so walk from home...

Against a backdrop of slowly sinking sun and dramatic clouds as I made my way home...

The light was lovely - through golden gorse...

And trees stripped of their leaves...

Delicate grasses...

And ancient brickwork...

And enough blue sky to remind me that even winter has its bright moments...

I am resolving to be more appreciative of my world, and to try to find a meaningful way through life this year... 

Wishing all a peaceful, restorative and healthy 2019.

S x