Friday, 29 July 2011

oh, for some me space...!

Sometimes I think that there is no time in life for some 'headspace'; you know, that time when you can just have your own thoughts, in your own time without having to think about everyone else first. I think its part of what drives me to stay up late sometimes, just to have a bit of time when I don't have to justify or defend what I'm up to - if I want to watch a trashy film, or browse blogs, or spend far too long finishing (in a slightly obsessive way) the latest crafty project, so what? 

But I am also increasingly craving some physical 'me' space. As a child, even as one of three sisters, I was quite happy to spend time 'pottering' in my room. Does that make me sound like a very odd child?! Do kids potter? I think I did! I always fiddled about with made up worlds, or drawing or, from quite an early age, sewing or knitting (I'm pretty sure I made my first jumper at the age of about 9; I can remember the pattern - it was a tanktop, with a fancy stitch pattern - well, we are talking the 70's!). Then as life goes on, the space all seems to get filled up with work and home and children and general 'stuff' that has to be done.

Much as I love my family, I feel like I've no space for me - nowhere to just spread out things I'm in the middle of. It might be a book, or one of the many projects I have on the go or magazines that have the beginnings of ideas but they are all important things that become much harder to just dip in and out of when they are hidden away.

Tonight, I got home from work to an empty house (boys are all out at a comedy night locally). Bliss! I thought, I can have a cuppa, have a quiet relax and a bit of quality hooky time in my favourite chair! No xbox clanging away, no tv, no loud boy noise (believe me boys are so loud!!!)...

But no! R has had this week off and has been saying all week that he would give the house a 'go over' for me (does this irritate anyone else? I don't tell them I've done the housework 'for them' - I just do it 'cos it needs doing!). Well today, it seems he has done tidying man style. This seems to largely consist of moving my things, hoovering a few obvious bits of floor and sticking a bunch of flowers on the table.

I know I should be grateful - I am supposed to do profuse thanking when they get in and be dutifully touched by the flowers. But, has he cleaned the bathroom? or the toilet? or emptied the linen bin? or (god preserve us!) dusted anywhere or displaced a spider or two? NO!

He has stripped our bed (which was changed 3 days ago - I don't know about anyone else but that does not normally constitute a need for a change of sheets in this house!) and he has tipped all my crafty stuff onto the rug in the middle of the living room, the unspoken message being 'Sort it!'. I would take a photo to show you but I actually feel a bit irrationally upset abut it and can't bring myself to. Usually, all my stuff takes up a little corner of the room - think I may have shown you a glimpse in a previous post...

What you can't see in this pic is the little pile of stuff that is hidden away under the table in the corner! And I have had quite a few things on the go at the moment and not much time so its probably been a little messier than usual. I know he doesn't get it. I don't think he has a creative bone in his body or any need to make things. He can't see the point unless something is 'needed' and functional and definitely doesn't understand the desire to create things 'just because...' Pretty is a bit wasted in a houseful of boys. But this is the only space in the house where I have my few things and I really don't see that they are doing any harm. Its not like the rest of the house is a show home! 

Sorry to have a moan but I needed to get this off my chest - this month has been a bit rubbish in lots of ways and I am trying to keep a balanced view of things; not sure I'm succeeding!

Oh well, deep breath, better go make the bed and tidy up my stuff (its all going back in the corner!!) and then I might get a chance to crochet - I have to redo half a row of my ripple blanket that looks as though its been pulled out in the grand tidy...




  1. Oh I sympathise .... I really do. I live with my husband and teenage son. That was the story of my life until about two years ago when when I reclaimed a tiny room laughingly called 'the study' ... now it's got all my craft stuff in and I can leave things out, no-one touches it. I've always pottered too, even as a child ... i'm at my happiest pottering. Hope you feel better after getting it all off your chest!

  2. Go for it and reclaim that little corner, wot is yours!!
    My crocheting and crafting is slowly taking over the place, the Mister only commented the other day about 'all the wool everywhere'. But when I explained how pretty it all looks, sort of colour coordinated in my baskets, he had to, reluctantly agree.
    Also, I am real 'potterer' when I am on my own.

    Love that ripple blanket, btw.

  3. Oh Sandra...that could be me talking. I don't hav me space either and I am constantly having to tidy everything away in cupboards or esle my crochet or sewing etc get unceremoniously dumped at the bottom of the stairs. How I wish I had a little room of my own that I could fill with all MY things.....I would probably never come out though!!! xxx

  4. I'm hearing you. loud and clear. My second husband (no more) has three boys, (I have two boys and a girl) they would come and stay every fortnight for the weekend. They would walk in take over the couch, drop lolly papers on the floor not put their dishes in the sink etc. wouldn't shower...and the list goes on. It didn't help that their dad didn't care either, I had to wash the couch after every visit as it would smell horrid. I had nowhere to go but the bedroom !!
    xx Sandi

  5. I totally hear you! I can't leave anything of mine out as little fingers love to rummage everywhere. And then last night my husband suggested we should spend this morning doing some cleaning. Oh-so-subtle way of telling me to up my housework game then! Then he buggered off to rack his bike for a triathlon leaving muggins here to tidy, wash, hoover and mop everything.

    I am another potterer, if anyone offers to take the girls, my favourite thing to do is just muddle about at home, I love it!

  6. My half is always moaning about the 'clutter' from all my crafting and book reading but I have always been this way (he remembers my kitchen table always having stuff on it when we were dating) so it isn't going to is disheartening when they moan but I try to just blot it out and think that is isn't about me, he's just tired. In a house full of boys, and I can relate there, you need a bit of your space so reclaim it and stand proud :-) Hang in there we all have these days xx


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